If you don't wanna be criticized, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

-Nigel Lithgoe 

The world teaches me angst when I want to learn joy.

-Camden Connor 

The Prince of Denmark-Chapter 5: Foul Deeds Will Rise

"RRRAHHHHHH!"

Without waiting to see if the jaded merry-makers were out of earshot, the prince let loose a scream of pent-up rage that echoed throughout the throne room and were likely heard by the last of the courtiers lagging behind the king's entourage. Hamlet could not have cared less, 'They are too lapped up in the prospect of a happy drunken evening, the blitheringidiots,' he thought, as he panted. Yelling out of pure, uncorked anger and frustration was surprisingly taxing.

"Oh how I wish my rotten, filthy flesh would just melt into a dew, or that the Everlasting had not condemned and made law against self-slaughter!" Hamlet began, in delivery with less volume and shortness of breath but toned with no less frustration, "Oh God. GOD! Life is but a stale, tired and pointless waste to me that ending it all would be sweet, sweet relief.Damn it! Life is just a garden festooned with weeds, and other things so equally rank and vile. Nothing good or beautiful can grow or flourish in its choked, dead soil.

"I cannot believe it has come to this," he continued, "that my father, dead for not even two months, has been replaced by a-" Hamlet stumbled over his word choice for a moment, struggling to come up with a word vulgar enough to describe his wretched uncle, "foolish, cowardly, dishonorable piece of filth!" he spat the last word with particular venom, "Such an honorable, excellent king my father was. So much more superior to my uncle, like a god is to a pathetic rat, and so loving towards my mother that he would keep the wind from blowing too hard in her face. Oh God must I remember? She would cling to him relentlessly, and the more she was with him, the more she wanted to stay with him like so. Yet, within a month of my father's passing-God, I'd rather not think about it; 'Frailty' is the name of woman. Even before the shoes she had worn at the funeral had been broken in, her tears flowing like the Nile-good God, a lowly animal would have mourned far longer than that-she had already spoken an 'I do' to that loathsome sack of slime, my father's brother, who is no more like my father than I to the mighty Hercules. Less than a month! Her cheeks were still damp and tear-stained when she remarried. Such wicked speed, jumping so hastily into incestuous sheets! That is no good and no good shall come of it. But my heartbreak must be in silence, for my tongue must be held for now," he finished, as he 

heard approaching footsteps echoing in the hallway outside the throne room.

"Hail to your lordship," greeted a cobalt blue hedgehog, unaware of the prince's soulful soliloquy moments before.

Pleasantly surprised that Horatio was around, Hamlet replied, "I am glad to see you well-Horatio? Or have I mistakenly addressed you?"

"The very same, my lord. The very same respectful servant," Horatio replied, bowing.

"I'll change that name to 'friend' for you," the black-furred prince smiled as he embraced Horatio, his anger now spent, "But why are you so far from Wittenburg? Ah! Marcellus!" Hamlet said as he noticed the golden-brown coyote.

"My good lord," Marcellus said curtly, bowing as well.

"I am glad to see you," Hamlet said in his direction, "and hello to you too, sir," he addressed to Barnardo, who bowed silently.

"But what brings you away from Wittenburg, Horatio?" the ebony hedgehog inquired again.

"I felt the truant disposition of skipping school sir," the blue hedgehog replied with a smirk.

"I would never allow your enemies to say that," the prince retorted, "and I'd never believe it even if it came from you. You're never one to skip class."

The prince then asked again, this time with a slight smirk, "What brings you to Elsinore? Might it be the drinks? Well, come, I'll teach you to drink hard by the time you leave."

Horatio answered him bluntly, "No my lord, I came to see your father's funeral."

Hamlet's anger flared up again, but he tried his best to keep the mood light, "Please, don't mock me. I know you came here to see my mother's wedding instead."

"Well," Horatio began uncertainly, keenly aware of his friend's stance on the matter, "indeed, they did follow each other closely."

"Well, it was all about thriftiness, Horatio!" Hamlet snapped, letting loose his tongue but still trying to humor the situation, "What was left over from the funeral dinner made for a fine wedding banquet, wouldn't you say so?"

Unable to hold himself back any longer, the prince cried, "Oh how I would rather have met my greatest foe in heaven than have gone through that day, Horatio. My father! I think I see my father!"

"Where, sir?" Horatio asked nervously.

"In my mind's eye, Horatio."

Slowly becoming more alarmed, Horatio said, "I-I have seen him once. He was a most noble king."

"He was a great man," Hamlet sedated himself and said in a more hushed tone, "He was perfect in almost every way. I shall not look upon the likes of him again."

"Sir," Horatio began, even more nervously now, "we think we saw him last night."

"Saw who?" the black hedgehog asked dumbly, momentarily lost, basking in the memories of his late father.

"My lord, the king, your father."

"The king, my father?!" Hamlet cried sharply, half-dubious and half-hopeful.

"Avoid feeling too much excitement for now, sire," Horatio began warningly, "Please listen with attentive ears, while I relay to you the amazing thing I have seen, with these gentlemen as witnesses."

"For God's sake, let me hear!" the prince was getting impatient.

"Two nights in a row had these gentlemen, Marcellus and Barnardo, bore witness to a figure like your father, fully clad in armor from head-quills to toes, as they stood on their watch, some time in the dead waste and middle of the night," Horatio began, gesturing to the sentries behind him, 

"It had appeared before them and marched at a slow, stately and solemn pace, at but a staff's distance from their eyes, while they nearly distilled into jelly out of fear, thereby rendering them speechless. I had been told this and, upon initially dismissing it as folly, they asked me to come with them on their shift, so I could witness it for myself.

"Sure enough, it happened again, just as they had described," the blue hedgehog blanched at the thought, but pressed on nonetheless, "I knew your father. The apparition looked so much like him.

"These hands," he raised said hands up, "could not be more alike than they."

"But where was this?" Hamlet asked, immensely intrigued.

"On ze platform where we stand guard, sire," Marcellus piped up.

"Did you not speak to it?"

"My lord, I did," Horatio stated, "but answer, it did not. Yet once, I thought I saw it raise its head, as if it was about to speak. But alas, the morning cock crowed, and at the sound, it vanished hastily from our sight."

"It is...very strange," Hamlet said, overwhelmed by all of this news.

"As I do live, my lord, I swear it is true," Horatio said, noticing how overwhelmed his friend was, "We thought it our duty to inform you of this."

"Indeed," the prince said weakly, then paused to swallow a lump that had formed in his throat, 

"Indeed, sirs. But this disturbs me.

"Are you on duty again tonight?" he asked the sentries.

"Yes, my lord," replied the purple chameleon, who, up until then had not spoken a word.

"Armed, you say?" the prince turned his attention completely towards Barnardo.

"Armed, sir."

"From head to toe?"

"Fully clad in his proud armor, my lord."

"Then you could not have seen his face?"

"Oh yes we could, my lord. His visor was up."

"Was he frowning?"

"More in sorrow than anger," Horatio chimed in.

"Pale or flushed?" the prince turned to Horatio again.

"Very pale, sire."

"And his eyes were fixed upon you?"

"Constantly."

"How I wish I could've been there," Hamlet replied longingly.

"It would have shocked you beyond reason," warned Horatio.

"I'm sure I would have been," the ebony hedgehog agreed, "Did it stay long?"

"About the equivalent of someone counting to a hundre-"

"No, more than that," the chameleon cut in.

"Not in the time I saw it," Horatio bantered, slightly irritated at the rude interruption.

"His quills were of a shade of cobalt blue, correct?" Hamlet asked quickly, wanting to avert a useless fight.

"The paleness of his fur disguised his color quite a bit, but it was obvious that it would have been a shade of blue with a brown fringe, just as I have seen him in real life," came Horatio's reply.

"I shall stand guard with you tonight," Hamlet declared, "perchance that it will appear again."

"I warrant it will," the blue hedgehog predicted.

"If it resembles my noble father, then I shall speak to it," Hamlet decreed, "even if Hell itself opens and bids me to hold my peace.

"I ask you," he turns to address the other three, "that if you've up to this point kept this secret, to keep it further. Whatever happens tonight shall not be talked about to anyone else besides ourselves, and I shall keep myself restrained as well.

"So fare you all well," he turns, giving them their cue that it was time for them to part ways for now, "I shall see you on the platform within the hour before midnight."

"Our duty to your honor, my lord," the three replied in unison.

"Your love instead, as mine to you," came Hamlet, "Farewell."

The three men then exit the room, leaving Hamlet once more to his thoughts, but this time, rather than the usual constant beration of his mother's incestuous behaviour and his uncle's inferiority, it was the thought of foul play that invaded his mind.

"Foul deeds will rise-though all the earth overwhelm them-to men's naked eyes."

---

A/N: I guess I should put a disclaimer here so I don't get shot at or kidnapped by The Copyright SWAT team or something. I own not a single cell of any of the Sonic characters used in this story, SEGA and/or Archie Comics do. Also, the story of Hamlet is not owned by me either, although no one really knows who owns it and therefore can take credit for being the original author because Shakespeare's scripts of it are but his own stage adaptation of an ancient story/stories whose origins and credibility are still being debated today.

Each time you read a book, a tree smiles knowing there's life after death.

-Anonymous 

The Prince of Denmark-Chapter 4: Court Address

An extravagant and properly regal flourish of trumpets announced the arrival of the new King Claudius and his wife Queen Gertrude, which prompted those who were already gathered in Elsinore's throne room to respectfully bow. The king and queen also had an entourage about them, consisting of Polonius, Lord Chamberlain of the court and Claudius' right-hand man, his son Laertes and daughter Ophelia, and several lords who waited on the king.

"Though the memories of my elder brother, the most noble Hamlet's death are fresh in our thoughts," began Claudius, stopping in front of his throne and turning around to address the court before him, "and though it was proper of the entire kingdom, as one whole, to contract in a brow of woe, bearing our hearts in grief, we must, in wise sorrow, move and go on as life goes on. However, we must also consider mine-and by extension, the state's-well-being, and to that end, I have taken the advice many of you have given me-and I owe you all deep gratitude for it-and married Queen Gertrude, with solemn vows in bittersweet celebration.

"Now, following what we know, let us get down to business," the black and green hedgehog began as he proceeded to take a seat on his throne, signalling to the courtiers present that the court had officially begun, "Young Fortinbras, crown prince of our Norwegian neighbors, is either mistakenly underestimating me, or is operating under the foolishly optimistic pretense that my country is in turmoil over the recent happenings and the transfer of power in Elsinore, for he wishes to gain the upper hand against us and reclaim the land that his father, Old Fortinbras, legally and rightfully, lost to our most valiant Hamlet. So much for him."

Claudius then beckoned a black and red armadillo, and a yellow flying squirrel to the front of the court, where both bowed and then stood, attention focused on the king.

"Now here is what's to be done," he addressed to both the pair and the entire court, "I've written a letter addressed to Fortinbras' uncle, who is currently Norway's head-of-state, even though he is a bed-ridden man who knows next to nothing even about his own nephew's rather obvious plans, but his dubious leadership skills are a matter to be discussed for another time. In this letter, I have implored the uncle to put a stop to his nephew's plans, as he is the head of Norway, and is authorized to do so. Here, we dispatch you, good Cornelius, and you noble Voltemand, as bearers of this letter addressed to Old Norway. I give you no authority to do anything else but this task," he hands an envelope with the Royal Seal stamped on it to the flying squirrel's outstretched hand, "Farewell, and may you make haste. Godspeed, gentlemen."

Both subjects bowed and said, "In that and all things will we show our duty," before turning promptly and leaving.

Claudius then turned his attention to the teal hedgehog now standing before him, "And now, Laertes, I've heard that you had something to tell me? That you have a favor to ask? What is it, Laertes? You won't lose anything, nor will your voice be wasted when talking to the king of Denmark, and that I'd grant most anything you ask of me. After all, your father and Old Denmark are close, like the head and heart, or the hand and the mouth. What do you seek?"

"My lord," Laertes began, "I ask for your leave and your favor to return to France, where I had been previously. Since then, I had been summoned to Denmark, to show duty and witness your coronation. Now, that the duty be done, I must confess that I long to return."

"Dear boy, but have you asked leave of your father yet?" Claudius asked, looking at his Lord Chamberlain, standing behind Laertes, "What say you, Polonius?"

"He has pestered me more times than I care to count, my lord," the brown-fringed blue hedgehog chimed in, stepping forward and clapping Laertes' shoulder with a chuckle, "In the end, I relented begrudgingly. Please, my lord, I do beseech you to let him go."

"Well, in that case," Claudius replied, leaning back further onto his throne, "Leave when you feel, Laertes, the time is yours to spend. I hereby grant you permission to leave. Enjoy yourself, lad."

Laertes, now positively beaming, turned to leave. Claudius now sets his attention to the black and red hedgehog standing beside Gertrude's throne almost reluctantly, as if he would rather not stand so close.

"And now," Claudius began, "Hamlet," the hedgehog looks at Claudius without moving his head, "my nephew," the hedgehog looks away, "and my son."

Turning his head away and muttering, so no one else could hear, Hamlet retorted irritably, "A little more than kin, and less than kind."

"Hamlet, my boy," Claudius continued, unaware of Hamlet's snide remark, "why are you still so gloomy, as if the darkest of clouds hang over you?"

"On the contrary, my lord, your son is out in the sun. Too much, actually," Hamlet replied, barely containing his sarcasm, and still refusing to look in Claudius' general direction.

Painfully aware of the mounting tension between the two men, Gertrude interjects, "Dear Hamlet, please cast off those clothes of nightly color, and bear no animosity to the king! You can't possibly spend the rest of your life with your eyes downcast, thinking of your noble father. You know it is a common occurence. All things that live must die eventually, passing through nature to eternity."

Finally turning to the person conversing with him, Hamlet replies simply, "Yes, mother, it is common."

"So why is it that it seems so particular to you?" Gertrude asked bluntly.

"'Seem,' mother? Oh no, it is," Hamlet replied, starting to get riled up again, "Neither garments in the deepest shades of black, nor sighs heavier than ships, nor weeping that would embarass the volume of the River Nile, nor downcast eyes, seemingly burning holes into the planet's crust and straight through the depths of hell, nor anything else remotely resembling a sign of grief can truly denote my feelings. True, these actions are indicative of something that 'seems' like grief, and can be used by any man to fake their grief, if they wanted to," a momentary glance in Claudius' direction, "But within me, there is so much grief that these actions and the clothes I wear, no matter how dark and nightly their shade may be, are but the surface of it."

Claudius, genuinely impressed and taken aback at his step-son's eloquent, soul-baring speech, could only reply with, "Hamlet...it is...very sweet...and tremendously commendable of you as a son, to mourn for your father so grievously," Claudius then gathered his bearings, and began in a more even tone, "But do remember that your father-and I, for that matter-had lost his-our-father, and that father lost his, and each and every one of them, I guarantee, had rightfully mourned, for a time. But to persevere in your grief is just stubborn. It is unmanly grief. It is against God's will, to betray a seemingly vulnerable heart and ignorant mind. Keeping in mind that every living thing must die sooner or later, why on earth must we take it to heart and to our own grave?" now it was Claudius who was having trouble containing himself, "It is a fault each against heaven, the dead, and nature, not to mention completely irrational! You know very well that the truth is that all fathers must and will eventually die," Claudius pauses, to collect himself again, "Please, I implore you, cast away your unprevailing and unnecessary grief, and try to at least convince yourself to start thinking of me as a father, for you are the crown prince, the one who will inherit the throne when I perish," 'Yes, I was also the heir apparent when my father was alive, until you swooped in and took the crown for yourself,' Hamlet thought bitterly, but Claudius continued unflinchingly, "and I love you just as much as any father would love a son. In fact, because I love you so much, I strongly advise you to postpone your studies at Wittenburg, for we cannot have you, in your grief-filled state, wandering about," Hamlet flinched, much to Claudius' hidden pleasure, "I ask you to stay with our merry company, as our chiefest courtier, my nephew, and now my son."

Gertrude, visibly aware of Hamlet's discomfort at the request, quickly added pleadingly, "Please let God answer my prayers, Hamlet, and stay with us. Go not to Wittenburg."

Hamlet, not wanting to disobey a lightly disguised order from the king and queen, much less in front of an entire court, reluctantly replied, in as even a tone as he could manage, "I shall 

obey your request the best I can, mother."

"That is a correct and loving answer, Hamlet," Claudius, now struggling to contain himself again, this time out of relief rather than anger, continued, "Madam, come. Hamlet's agreeing to stay has made me happy to my core, and every toast I make tonight in his honor shall be made merrily and loudly; heard as far as heaven above. It shall be echoed throughout the skies! Come away."

Thrilled by the prospect of enjoying a joyful night for a change, Claudius, Gertrude, and the court filed out in jovial haste, trumpets blaring their regal flourish. So preoccupied were they with the thought of their eventual merry-making that nobody took notice of the prince, who was still rooted to the same spot he had stood at for the entirety of the court, growing increasingly agitated and angry. A scowl etched its way onto his face, growing alongside the heat of his seething rage.

---

A/N: I guess I should put a disclaimer here so I don't get shot at or kidnapped by The Copyright SWAT team or something. I own not a single cell of any of the Sonic characters used in this story, SEGA and/or Archie Comics do. Also, the story of Hamlet is not owned by me either, although no one really knows who owns it and therefore can take credit for being the original author because Shakespeare's scripts of it are but his own stage adaptation of an ancient story/stories whose origins and credibility are still being debated today.

Also, can y'all guess which Sonic characters match up with which Hamlet character?

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

-Sarah Williams 

I Am

I am the ill-fitting puzzle piece,
I am the red in a sea of beige,
I am the clash note sung
in a different key.